As I exit my house to leave for work this morning, I see some vagrant standing in front of the ivy between my house and the house next door.  I stand on my porch and watch him, as he pulls a corona bottle (presumeably filled with urine) out of one of his pockets, looks both ways, and tosses it in the ivy.  He then continues on his merry way.  I say “Thanks a lot”.  He looks up at me and replies with “You’re welcome”.

As this interaction happens, there is a couple loading groceries into their car.  The husband hears/sees my interaction with this guy, and just loses it.  He looks at me, smiles, and apologizes for laughing at my expense, but he can’t believe how the vagrant just said “You’re welcome” so politely and matter-of-factly, not missing a beat.  I jokingly encourage him to throw any garbage that he might have in his car, into my ivy.  We have a good laugh about it, and then start talking about our cars, as he owns a white Mercedes 300SD.

Aren’t these guys supposed to collect these bottles so they can cash them in for drug/booze money?  I hate it when people piss away their money.  I can not have any amount of respect or pity for people like this, who have no respect for themselves or for other people’s residences.  I wish they would all just be forced to work or sent away.  I grow weary of waking up and leaving my house to go to work, only to find someone (once again) dumping pee on my property.

One of these days I will design a laser-guided system that detects when people violate my property, and it will activate a system of motorized self-aiming super soakers filled with my very own pee.  Let’s see how they like THEM apples.

Nah… I’ll have someone else design it.

I had a great time this past Saturday night at the LaughingSquid Lucky 13 Party (and Scott’s birthday party).  Saw many old faces, many new ones, and enjoyed being at Cell Space, as I had not been there in years.

I did a little yoyo thing there, and I did fairly well.  I had my Brother and Sister in law in attendance, as well as my housemates.  As I am my own worst critic, I am relieved to have finally done what I consider a good job in front of people I know.  Even though I am somewhat retired from performing (which was mentioned in my introduction), I still received several drunken job offers for so and so’s bday party, or such and such company’s corporate whatever.  Ahh, just like the good old days ;D

Here’s Scott’s wrap-up post of the party (with videos of me at the bottom) :   http://laughingsquid.com/laughing-squid-lucky-13-wrap-up/

The next day, I was cleaning up my driveway, and these people walked by my house… one of them turned, paused, and said “Wow, Yo-Yo King!  You were awesome last night!”  I said thanks, and they continued to walk down the street, and the guy kept on telling the girls he was with what I did and how cool it was, etc etc.   Small world.

(LaughingSquid logo borrowed from LaughingSquid.com)

The federal government is sending each and every one of us (who filed returns and don’t owe back taxes) a $600 rebate or more. If we spend it at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China . If we spend it on gasoline, the money will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to Malaysia . If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala If we purchase a good car, it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan … and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep the money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes, weed, beer and tattoos since these are the only products still produced in the USA .

My godfather emailed this to me ;)

I know it’s been months since I’ve posted anything… but the fact is that I have nothing to complain about. So I’ll try to write about some positive things in my life at the moment.

The new job kicks ass, and is a total stress reliever. I hardly ever see my bosses, and when I do they aren’t standing behind me and looking over my shoulder asking me what I am working on and for who. Here, I have the freedom, the trust, and the liberty to do my job, and do it effectively. I don’t have to deal with some bullshit IT department back east that could really care less about what I need. I have a FREE secure garaged parking space, and basically can ask for anything within reason that will help me perform my job. Also, I totally don’t feel like I’m the smartest person walking around the office, which is a good thing, because I’m not all that smart :D Oh, the money kicks ass too, I’m making more now than I ever have before.

I love my car and it’s been really good to me by not breaking down, it just passed 200,000 miles. I am currently saving up a few grand to get some work done on it.  Nothing serious, but I do have a list. A full suspension job & engine tuneup are the main things.

I quit a big time vice on my 30th birthday in February that I’ve had since I was 14. The first month I felt really good and positive, but lately… I’ve been feeling like falling right back into it. I just need to keep reminding myself of all the negative things that come of it.

So I performed yoyo stuff at the most recent last Ask Dr. Hal Show. I thought I did pretty good, considering that I hadn’t done any performances in about 3 years. I wanted to make the last show fun, but also wanted to gear up for my performance at the Laughingsquid Lucky 13 Party at CellSpace on May 31. Should be fun!

I saw this on BoingBoing, but wanted to post it here too. (Image borrowed from BoingBoing)

The Spanish-language blog Decoesfera spotted Roca’s new urinals with built-in dividers. They might be helpful for the pee-shy and to discourage peeking. Link to translated blog post (via Neatorama)

Before I start bitching about work… let me just tell you that I hate solicitors. You know, those friendly people that come up to your door and try to offer you something, or sell you something, or get you involved in something? Well, out of all solicitors, the ones I hate the most are religious solicitors. Why? Why do they do it? Doesn’t everyone already know about Jesus? Any organization going door to door, trying to get people on their side…. ugh, I want no part of it, especially religious organizations. They just creep me out. I am not religious, I don’t believe in god, or jesus, or any of that nonsense. I don’t care if others do, but please keep it out of my face.

I have a “NO SOLICITORS” sign on my front door, posted in plain sight for all to see. This morning, I hear talking as I notice people walking up the stairs, I peek out the window and I see 2 well-dressed old black guys, and I immediately run to the door, hoping to catch them before they knock. I open the door halfway, peer out, catch them by surprise, and say “what’s going on here?!”, in a loud, forceful voice. They respond with “Hi, we’re with a local bible group, and..”. I immediately cut them off and tell them “NOT INTERESTED, GO AWAY!”, and then slammed the door in their faces. I hear them walk down the stairs and mumble something about “why does everyone have to react like that?”. All I can say is, they’re lucky they didn’t wake me up (they did this nonsense at 9am). As they walked down the stairs, I saw them trying to hand out religious materials to people passing by… right in front of my house, so I glare at them until I see them walk away.

I’m kicking myself for not pointing out the NO SOLICITING sign and making them feel incredibly stupid before slamming the door in their face. That’s what they should have got for invading my privacy with religious bullshit.

Ok, so at my work, there is a huge media room. This room is filled with computers, monitors, dvd burners, vcrs, all kinds of sat receivers, televisions, etc… a whole lot of a/v technology. For the past month, the A/C has been out in this room. Without A/C, this room gets hot. All kinds of stand fans can barely contain the heat. When you walk by the room, you can feel the fans blow all the hot air out of there. Thank goodness its winter!

Anyway… last week, my company finally got the property manager to get some contractors out to look at and repair the air system in there. All week, they were working on it, and had to occupy some space that is normally reserved for the tape changers. The tape changers, well, they are these people that change tapes, and they have this row of rewinders set on top of some filing cabinets in the small walkway near the back entrance of the media room. Since they lost their space, they started to use the spare cube/workstation on the end of our row by the walkway. They only use it at night, when almost everyone is gone. Let me repeat, this is space that was not being used for anything… it was just a spare cube that we’re doing nothing with.

I get into work the other day, and the first thing I am told to do is to put a computer in that cube and make it look like someone works there. I am puzzled by this request, but I comply. As I am hunting down items to place over there to complete the setup, I notify my supervisor that we have no spare keyboards or mice, and that I’ll have to request some from I.T. He responds by telling me that it doesn’t have to be functional, it just has to look like someone works there. He tells me that he is tired of people from other departments using that cube, and when I tell him why they temporarily moved the tape rewinders there, he tells me that it doesn’t matter, and he just wants me to get it done. Somehow, this reminds me of a screaming baby throwing a tantrum, clutching onto a toy, voilently twisting back and forth and screaming “MINE, MINE!@#$ MIIIIIIINE@#$%@#!$”.

The cube is now filled with a bunch of crap that will take valuable space from other departments, forcing them to find space elsewhere. In turn, this must make other departments talk about us, and about what a bunch of jerks we are. THIS IS OUR FREE SPACE, AND YOU CAN’T USE IT! Furthermore, I don’t see how it became my job to do all these stupid things. All the coders get to code, just code. I’m the Linux Sysadmin, and because I have a brain and can work outside of the box, I end up wearing several different hats… among some of my least favorite things are messing with Winbloze
all day, and moving useless, broken computers into empty cubes that we have no current use for, etc. I guess I do my job too well/efficiently. Oh well, on the bright side… at least I am employed by an internet tech company during a recession. Woot.

The people that tell me what to do often wonder why other departments don’t want to do us any favors, give us any parts, etc… this is why. What a bullshit mentality. One of the many reasons I’m seeking employment elsewhere. I grow weary of small-minded people that don’t know how to work with others and be more productive. We’re all in the same company, working towards a common goal. Working apart will not help us.

The bathroom situation at work is ridiculous. We are on the 3rd floor, and there are supposedly about 70 people that work here. I would have to guess that 2/3 or 3/4 of the people are men. There are only 2 bathrooms on our floor, one for men, the other for women. The women’s bathroom is larger, and has 3-4 stalls (I know this because I used it once after hours when the men’s bathroom was closed for cleaning). The men’s bathroom has 2 urinals and 1 stall. 1. That’s right. Out of about 50 guys here, only one can crap at a time. The urinals don’t even have much of a privacy wall… and I’m a guy who enjoys his privacy. As if that isn’t bad enough, what about those of us who are bladder-shy and refuse to use a urinal, such as myself? Well, it can get pretty damn annoying. I personally think that whipping it out in plain view in a public restroom and peeing in a trough/urinal is barbaric and disgusting. I don’t enjoy walking into a restroom and seeing someone standing there relieving themselves (sometimes these people peeing at the urinals actually have the audacity to fart in front of others), and I sure as piss don’t like it when someone walks in on me while I’m doing so.

Here’s what happened today, and what happens most days…

I leave my desk and go to the bathroom. Damn, the stall is in use! Oh well, I’ll go down to the second floor. Damn, the stall is in use there too. I quickly exit the bathroom and mutter profanities under my breath. Ok, it’s getting desparate now… time to go visit the public restroom in the walkway next to the Jack London Square parking garage. Shit! It’s locked.

Now I’m fuming… I go back up to the 3rd floor and go into the bathroom again to no avail, it’s still in use. I continue to mutter curse words to myself… and once again, head down to the 2nd floor bathroom. I go in, and the stall is still in use. I am absolutely livid at this point, and am past the point of caring if I have to use a urinal or not. At least the ones in the 2nd floor bathroom have walls that actually block something, giving you a small sense of privacy. I give the urinal a few flushes to make some noise so that the only sound emanating isn’t my pee dribble. Ok, things are moving along now… but then all of a sudden, someone else enters the restroom, and my bladder goes into lockdown mode. Fortunately, I am pretty much done, and I make myself presentable, wash my hands, and get the hell out of there.

God damn it, I HATE restrooms that several people can use at once. Who the hell thought this idea up? Why in the world would anyone want to go to the bathroom in the presence of other people, especially strangers? Or weird co-workers that you don’t talk to in the first place?

To quote tourettes guy: PISS!@#$%!

I’m really bored these days. I’m not sure what to do with myself. I’ve been really bored at work lately, so I’ve been looking for a new job, but there aren’t many opportunities for what I do (Linux Sysadmin) in the east bay, and I am unwilling to do any kind of commute due to my sheer hatred of driving in traffic, in addition, to taking any kind of public transportation. I used to like getting out of bed and going to work, it was something fun to do, but lately… I just want to not be here. I can’t really name names or titles, but I really don’t respect many of the people I work for, and it’s very hard to drag myself into work every day to do good things for people I don’t respect. I just… I want to see them wallow in the messes they make for themselves. I want to see what they do when I’m not there to clean up the mess and figure everything out for them. Also, I think I’m sick of just about everyone here. Sick of being around all these weird people that I have absolutely no connection with. I hear their small talk, I hear what they laugh at, I see how they are… fake, plastic, and pathetic. They make me sick, I think I hate them. I don’t even make eye contact with people in the halls anymore, what’s the point? They’ll just quit in 6 months like most people do here. I long for the day, my last day here, where I will have no going away party, no goodbyes, no wishy washy sentimental bullshit… and I will leave just as I walk through the halls, quietly and by myself, and I wont have to see any of their god damned faces anymore. As soon as I have a new job, or some money saved up, I am SO out of here.

Hey, I kinda feel better now :D

So last night I hung out at the Bender Bar with a bunch of Yo-Yo people. I had a good time, had some drinks (a long island, a shot of makers, and 2 coronas), and met up with my friend Drea. Drea and I went to my car that was parked on 19th to listen to music and chill for a few, because we were both pretty faded, when all of a sudden, out of the middle of nowhere (aka Capp Street), this old green tortoise bus hangs a turn so wide that we both think the bus is going to hit us. As it is making the turn, I say “hey, it’s the applause bus!”, and sure enough, the bus stops in the middle of the road as soon as it makes the turn, and Chicken John pops his head out of his window and says “Hi Cappy!”. I have no idea how he knew I was there, he must have good eyes or something. Man, what a coincidence… We say hi, the bus drives off, and I drop Drea off at home, and then head home myself. A fun evening, concluded.

See, ever since the first workday of this month, I’ve been using my horrendously expensive paid parking space here at work, and I must say… I am so glad to not have to hunt down a spot every morning.  The spot costs money, I pay, and happiness is the end result.  I love proving theories wrong, but I hate having to pay for parking!

My NYE was quiet, warm, and peaceful.  Basically, my housemates and my friend skullY hung out, bbq’d, ate food, and watched movies and episodes of various animated series that I have in my media collection.  Part of me was happy to be at home, safe and warm, with good peeps, but another part of me wanted to get out into the shit and have some fun NYE experiences.  I coulda went to Chicken’s, I coulda went to ACE Junkyard… but decided that home was generally where I wanted to be.  Jebus, I think I’m getting old.

Do you ever walk around a grocery store and think to yourself, “Man, these must be the assholes that I honk at on the road!”?

Yep, I’m getting old.  I turn 30 this February.  Holy crap, how did that happen?  Personally, I’m shocked I’ve made it this far :D

Ok, now I’m rambling… ramble ramble ramble.

Into the futurrrrrrrrrrrrre, and if time slipping away is a problem for you, then this will take you back. It’s currently the ringtone on my “iPhone”, as my good chum Paul would call it, even though it is a Sprint Mogul.

I am signing up for pay parking Wednesday morning, as I am sick and tired of hunting for the ever-diminishing free parking spot every morning, and every time I drive somewhere for lunch and come back. I’m not paying $78 a month to park my car, no… I look at it like this; I am paying $78 a month to have piece of mind, and to not feel the need to scream every morning/afternoon while yelling very unpleasant things about people who are preventing me from parking.

I was at Mitchell’s Ice Cream last night, and it was sort of a mad house. I was celebrating Kenmas (my housemate Ken’s birthday) with Ken and friends. I got a waffle cone with 2 scoops, grasshopper and peanut butter indulgance. Man, was that ever good. A funny thing happened as I was standing outside with friends eating ice cream, these 2 girls walk out of Mitchells with no ice cream, and they are complaining and had nasty looks on their faces. Something along the lines of, “Why the fuck does everyone have to stand in the way?! Can’t I just get some ice cream?!”. Oh, I’m sorry, you whiney little cry baby. I wasn’t aware that it was your time of the month. As they walked by, complaining, we couldn’t help but to laugh, because we all waited over 15 minutes. Also, I muttered something about “taking your (her) ass to Safeway for some Extreme Moosetracks”, if she can’t wait like everyone else. This is MITCHELL’S you know, not Baskin Robbins.

Unfortunately, I have some terrible news. On Thursday night, the 2 brothers that owned Sahib Indian Restaurant were gunned down and murdered just as they were closing. Ravi and Pommi, 2 of the nicest guys you’d ever have met. They came here in 1997 with nothing, and made the American Dream work, while many that were born here with all the privileges of being an American haven’t been able to do squat with their lives… They owned a restaurant and several real estate properties. The restaurant, Sahib, was easily the best indian restaurant I’ve ever been to, and I live in the land of indian food and have pretty much been to all of restaurants around here.  They were kind, sweet, and very friendly guys, often talking to me and whoever I was with on a personal note… they didn’t just work there, it was their life-blood, they had a passion for it, and didn’t treat their customers like customers.  They would always joke around with me, and I really liked that about their place.

I honestly can’t fathom why anyone would or could hurt either of these guys, let alone kill them. it’s just baffling, and the police are baffled as well, as they can’t seem to find a motive for the murder. It’s funny to look back on it… I coulda been there, because when I went there, I often went a little later to avoid crowds, I liked having the place to myself with just a friend or 2 and the people that work there. What if I was there? Would I have been shot too?

Rest in peace, Ravi and Pommi. You will be missed.